This episode about how to support young musicians in music practice during the holidays when…
The Parent-Child Relationship in Music Practice: A Conversation with Alan Duncan
On this week’s episode of the Time to Practice podcast, we’re speaking with long-time Suzuki parent and collaborative pianist for his violinist daughter, Alan Duncan. Alan shares what he’s learned through the challenging starting phases of preschool, beginning lessons through letting go and helping his daughter transition into the independent practicer she is now. We talk about creativity, practice as the stress-test for the parent-child relationship, and the act of letting go as we let our children take charge of their practice when the time is right and so much more.
To Listen to the full episode you can find the Time to Practice Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Audible , Google Podcasts, or your favorite podcast platform. You can also listen directly from the link below:
4 Tips for Music Practice Through the Holidays – Time To Practice
Highlights from my conversation with Alan Duncan:
A metaphor from his days in medicine: “So I feel like practice was really for us, like a stress test, right? It’s like a cardiac stress test. So if you’re suspected of having coronary heart disease, the doctor’s going to put you on a treadmill and wire you up to the EKGs And, and have you exercise on the on the treadmill and look for evidence electrically that there’s something wrong with your heart.
And I feel like practice is the same for your relationship with your child. It exposes areas where you can do better yourself. And for me, that was definitely true. I sort of always looked at it as, okay, this is exposing an area where I need to bring more creativity. I need to bring more empathy. I need to bring more ability to, to sort of let go, whatever, whatever was needed in the moment, it was going to expose that to me.”
On the stress families sometimes have about picking an instrument for their child :
“I think, you know, you sort of grow up with what you’re used to. And she grew up with a violin, and she doesn’t remember a time when she didn’t have a violin in her hands. And it’s just been natural. I think it’s definitely easy to overthink that that question (am I picking the right instrument for my child?). But I don’t know. It works out. I think the right instrument finds you. It’s like Harry Potter in the wand, you know?”
On what Alan Duncan learned from practicing with his daughter:
“I’m a better practicer as a result of helping my daughter practice more effectively. Yes, that’s true. But you know, there’s a meta level to this as well, which is I feel like I’m also a better, and a more observant parent as a result of being sort of an observer of that whole process unfolding and, and looking at that with empathy. And . . . it’s just that there’s several levels to that I think are really are a learning experience for, for us as, as musical parents.”
Listen to the full episode or read the transcript below to enjoy the whole conversation!
Links in this week’s episode:
This episode is brought to you by my workbook for reducing practice conflict: Positive Practice