Comparisons

It’s so easy to make comparisons between our children and other students in the studio, at workshops, and institutes.

We see other children that can seem like they have endless concentration, know all their pieces easily, or don’t struggle in any way.

What we may not know is that the book 3 student we see easily playing everything in front of us, may have spent the first two years of lessons rolling around on the floor and having all sorts of attention issues. In fact, it took endless patience and a lot of work from both the teacher and parent to keep things going at all.

Or that Book 4 student you see who is always polite and well prepared for recitals . . . what we cannot see is that for a few years the student and his mother fought in practice . . . everyday.

They were miserable and wondered if they should quit because the whole thing was so stressful. (This is a true story – one that has a great ending because when this came out the parent and teacher were able to talk about how to practice differently and the parent put in a huge amount of work changing the dynamic during practice . . . things are so much better now!)

The truth is that we can often compare OUR worst moments with the best moments of other students and feel discouraged.

If we were all really honest and transparent I think we would find out that most people have experienced some struggles like us (often really different ones too) and we likely would never suspect it when we see them at group events.

Please don’t be discouraged – this is a long term thing we’re doing . . . training our children how to practice so some day they can do it without us!

Do talk to your teacher if you’re struggling – they will likely reassure you how normal it all is and have some great ideas or resources to share with you.

We are all in the process of growing and learning.  Comparisons between where you were a year ago and where you are now CAN be helpful. Is there improvement? Is the instrument getting easier to play?

A family in my studio recently went back and watched videos from their recital a year ago and told me they weren’t sure they had made progress before doing it, but they could really see how much their child had improved by looking back at the video.

Strive to improve.

Learn from other students and families.

But, remember everyone is on their own journey with their own struggles.

We just may not see them when looking in from the outside.