4 Ways to Reduce Arguments Over Practice

Does this sound familiar? You’re ready to start practice with your child and call them into the practice room only to be met with stalling, complaints, or even arguing?

Your child seems to enjoy playing their instrument but it’s an ordeal to get them to start practicing every day. (You can read last week’s article about resisting practice HERE)

It’s hard to make daily practice a routine when we know it’s going to involve a battle of wills to get things started on a daily basis.

I can relate because I went through the same thing with my daughters when they were taking lessons.

Here’s what I’ve learned: Daily Practice doesn’t have to be a fight.

As both a parent and teacher I think it’s important to figure out how to reduce arguments with our children over practice if we want them to continue to enjoy learning their instrument and develop good practice habits.

As adults we have a big impact on helping our children learn to work with themselves, learn how to get started when they are transitioning from one activity to another (like from play time to practice), and to set a practice environment that helps our children engage with practice.

So how do we do that?

1. Learn what helps get your child get started or get into practice mode

What helps your child ease into practice? Do they need a few minutes warning to be ready to focus? Does practicing at the same time of day help?

Take some time to notice what makes the transition smoother and do more of that.

2. Set up a productive practice environment

What is the environment you are setting your child up to practice in? Hint: it’s not just the physical space, it’s also the emotional environment we create as practice partners. You can read more about that in my article You are Your Child’s Practice Environment

3. End on a high note

End each practice in a way that creates an interest in starting again tomorrow. As a teacher I try to end lessons by doing something that is fun or that inspires confidence (hopefully both!)

I know this makes a difference in practice all week long and in being excited to come to lessons again next week. Practice is much the same, finish on a high note so it’s something your child looks forward to again tomorrow.

4. Learn what you need as a parent

I had to learn what put me in the best frame of mind as a parent practicing with my own child.

For me it was a big mug of tea and a few deep breaths, letting go of whatever was on my mind while I spent the next chunk of time with my daughters practicing. I noticed how much smoother things went when I was in a frame of mind where I could be present and supportive.

What is a little routine you can set up for yourself like this?

We can’t control the mood our children bring to practice – we can only control our own frame of mind.

Reducing arguments over practice takes a lot of trial and error and also being flexible when things change and our children go through periods where we need to change up our approach. It’s a good idea to keep revisiting these ideas and fine tuning as we go.

No one looks forward to practice if it becomes an argument everyday.

Reducing arguments and creating practice sessions that are more peaceful and productive takes work but it’s so worth it. If you need more support to help make this happen at your house the online Workshop: Reduce Arguments with Your Child when it’s Time to Practice Their Instrument helps parents learn strategies to do just that.

Learn how to use practice sessions to build motivation & reduce conflict for future practice, for example:

• How to transition into practice so your child is less resistant to getting started
• How to practice in a way that builds motivation
• How to end practice with the beginning of the next session in mind
• How to create a musical environment that fosters motivation

Read more about the online workshop HERE

Need more support to reduce arguments around practice with your child? I’d love to help!

Find out more and sign up by clicking on the graphic below